page+three+rainy+night

page fouriswh with some three I woke up in his arms and I clung to him not believing everything was back to the way it was supposed to be. “I can barely breathe.” He said struggling against me. I loosened my grip and he calmed down. “So, we’re back together? For good?” I asked him, my eyes searching. He looked wary. I begged him with my eyes. “I need time to think.” He said and got up. He got dressed. I immediately put up all of my barricades in my mind. I got dressed quickly and ran. I ran home and I curled up on the couch and let my sorrow swallow me. He might not want me back ever. The thought almost tore my soul apart. I began painting again. I turned on my music and painted all day. It felt good and I saw all of my sorrow pour out into that painting. When I was done with it I curled up in my bed. When I woke up after my nap I showered. I saw myself in the mirror and my knees gave out. The tattoos were becoming more and more detailed. My legs looked stronger than they had before. My stomach was starting to curve in, in a way that didn’t look all that healthy. I was losing weight. I tore my eyes away from my body and my face was twisted with such sorrow it hurt to look at. I sat there naked in front of the mirror and let the sorrow break me through and through. It broke down my resistance for anything. It broke down my will to stay sane and my will to not let anybody know how much I hurt. The walls came down one by one. My sorrow had me wishing for a better way. I could feel it killing me. I had a brief flash of Rya, Sam and Isaiah all falling and screaming at once. Rya’s scream was a bloodcurdling cry for mercy. Sam’s was one of guilt and helplessness. Isaiah’s was one of surprise and then for mercy. My sorrow coursed through my body and then with a sudden clarity it all stopped. My mind couldn’t take it anymore. I went on autopilot. I got dressed and brushed my hair. I lay on my bed and then the pain washed over me in torrents. It became physical pain, starting at my toes. It spread through my body starting there and going up slowly and completely. When it went over my head I began to scream. The elements kept my screams from being heard. I was burning with the pain of my sorrow. I could feel my spirit breaking. I spent the night in that kind of pain, and it never let up till morning. Rya came into my room and held me. She held me and she cried with me. Isaiah followed her in and he held me too. I slept for the first time since my last nap and woke up in the village. “I’m not sure if I can marry her. She’s so hard to handle. She’s always breaking the rules and disrespecting me. I can’t deal with that my whole life.” I heard Sam say. The pain washed over me. “Don’t you feel that?” Rya said furiously. “That’s what she feels for you. You’re breaking her soul rejecting her this way. Stop listening to your mind. Look to your heart. Look to your spirit. Do you really want to live without her the rest of your life?” She said. “Imagine it. If you don’t make up your mind, she’ll kill herself. She sees that as a way out and she’s not afraid of it anymore. As she slept, she talked about the ways she could kill herself. She will soon; your spirit breaking is too painful to deal with.” She said her voice shaking. She saw how much the idea appealed to me. A whole new pain came into my mind. It was as bad as mine. It was worse and I couldn’t keep myself from screaming. The siren call that burst from my mouth was a plea for an end, a plea for mercy. Sam had seen himself as my end. It had nearly killed him to see it. “I’ll marry her. I can’t live without her.” He said. My pain subsided for a moment in shock. He crawled into bed next to me and pulled me to him. He kissed me with such a passion that I couldn’t help myself but to lose my mind completely. I completely surrendered my heart, body and soul instantly. He was as much me as I was him. I woke up in his arms again and it was him who squeezed me so hard I could barely breathe. I didn’t mind though. I squeezed him too. “Will you marry me?” He asked me. “Yes,” I answered like it was the most natural thing in the world. We both got dressed and we left the hut together. We went to breakfast and it was the first time in what felt like forever that I’d eaten there. I ate and when I was done I crawled into Sam’s lap. He was already done eating and he held me. All of his friends just stared. I snuggled into him and my mom came up behind me. “I guess you two worked things out then?” She asked me. I nodded. “I have never seen that house that clean.” She said and sat down next to us. I was warm and comfortable and not going to deal with her. I glared at her and she just shrugged and left. “You cleaned your house?” Sam asked me. I nodded. “The second day I couldn’t find anything new to do so I cleaned until it till it shined. Each day I tried to find something new. I painted, wrote, and then yesterday I painted again.” I said. He nodded. “Your paintings are amazing. You never told me you were an artist.” He said. “It never came up.” I said. He rolled his eyes and motioned for me to get off of him. I did and he got up. I followed him and he went and got me some food for lunch. “I’m not going to that school.” I said. “Yes, you are.” He said sternly. “I can’t. I won’t fit in with this face. Give me time to heal.” I said. “You need to go. We’ve skipped so much that they’re getting ready to call us in for it.” He said. “I don’t care. I’m ancient compared to those kids. There is no reason that I should put up with them.” I responded. “This is what separated us in the beginning.” He said. “It wasn’t anything about school! You wouldn’t let me talk to my brothers in the morning.” I said getting seriously pissed. “No, from my view you were being stubborn about something that is insulting and embarrassing in this village. It is shameful for a man to have a woman be allowed into the men’s dormitory, no matter the reason. Unless it’s an absolute emergency it’s an extremely shameful thing.” He said. “Why?” I asked him. He looked confused. “It just is.” He said. “But if there isn’t a reason that it’s shameful, then why is it shameful? “ I asked him. He looked utterly confused. “Teach me, “I said to him. “What?” He asked me. We were cleaning our dishes and I could see half the village staring at me. “Teach me the ways of this village; teach me what’s shameful and what I can do.” I told him. They all stared at me in shock. “I’m not willing to go through that again.” I said. He nodded. He took me to the men’s dormitory. He sat me in back and there was a white board. He tossed me a notebook and we had a whole day of him teaching me the rules and regulations. I took notes and he taught me how I was supposed to look at people who were above me if I wanted to show them respect. People trickled in occasionally to see what was going on. They were astounded to find him teaching me village etiquette. For once I was willing to learn etiquette and to learn how to be respectful. He showed me how to shadow a person when they told you to follow them. Just behind their heels, but make sure you don’t step on them because that makes them feel rushed. Then they might try to lose you. He taught me about how women were expected to shadow their husband, especially at meals. I shook my head and laughed and he realized that this was going to be fairly difficult. At dinner that night I tried to follow all of the rules. I forgot to ask him to pass something and he swatted my hand. I swatted his right back and continued to reach. He grabbed me by the waist and sat me down and lectured me. I stared at the ground like a little kid in trouble. I apologized and asked him to pass it to me. He did and we continued with our meal. I got up before him to grab something and he pulled me back down. I plopped down and my foot landed weird. I cried out and he grabbed my foot gently and put it his lap. I yelled to Isaiah and he came over. I showed him how to heal and he healed my foot. He sat with us and we ate. I ate politely and then I really needed to go to the bathroom. I told Sam where I was going through our mental link and he nodded. When I got up I walked quickly to bathrooms. When I was finished as I was washing my hands one of elders came in. I smiled and nodded to her. She smiled back and grabbed some boxes. They looked heavy so I grabbed a couple from her. She looked shocked and led me to where she needed them. I put them down and she thanked me. I came back to Sam and he shot me a questioning look. The elder came over to him. “Did you teach her etiquette now?” She asked him. He nodded. “Nobody else actually would have helped me with those stupid boxes.” She said. He beamed at both of us. I sat down next to him and he put his arm around me proudly. “You seem proud of yourself.” I said with a grin. He kissed me right in front of his friends. They just shook their heads. When he got up I followed him and shadowed him perfectly. We washed our dishes and we went to our little classroom. “Wait a minute,” he said, realizing something. “We didn’t go to school today.” He said. I ducked and ran. He tried to chase me but I’d built up my stamina. I ran all the way home. I laughed and flopped on the couch. About fifteen minutes later he puffed in the door. I laughed at how much better I was at running long distance than he was. He glared at me. “You’re…a brat…” He puffed at me. I laughed. I went in and found some ice-cream. I grabbed two spoons and threw in a movie as he puffed on the couch. We watched the movie and ate our ice cream and just had a great time. We made fun of how corny the movie was and when it was over we just sat there on the couch. We’d finished the ice cream already and it was just sitting by his foot. I grabbed it and threw it away and washed our spoons. I went upstairs and found my pajamas and got ready for bed. I got into bed with my hair tied back as usual. I crawled into bed and Sam came in a second later with only a pair of boxers on. “You know, it would have made my life easier if we would have stayed at the village.” He said, going into Isaiah’s room and searching for pajamas. I grabbed a pair that would fit him that was on the opposite room as him. He was looking on the wrong side of the room. I threw them to him and he pulled them on. I went and climbed back in bed. He crawled in next to me and pulled me close. I fell asleep quickly. I woke up with a mixture of home and my new life filling my senses. On one hand, I was in my room and I’d always slept here. On the other hand, Sam was holding me tight and if this would have happened before I would have been rushing him out the door and feeling extremely awkward and I didn’t feel either. I stretched my toes and my fingers, trying not to wake him up yet; and failing. He stretched and sat up. He looked panicked for a moment and then he settled back into the bed. He went and showered and then grabbed some of Isaiah’s clothes. As soon as he was out of the shower I was in. “Don’t turn the water off!” I yelled at him as he was about to and I kicked him out of the bathroom, towel and all. I showered and grabbed some of my own clothes. He walked in while I was still toweling my hair and grabbed my brush and fixed his hair. He threw it to me when I stuck out my hand and I caught it. I brushed my hair and put on some makeup. I was putting on earrings when he noticed my latest painting. “It’s beautiful,” He told me and hugged me. My eyes were so ancient, like they’d seen a thousand years of misery. “Wow. It’s like an old lady in a not wrinkly body.” He said and he hugged me. “It makes you all the more beautiful. Only eyes that have seen pain give a satisfaction in their smile.” He said. I looked at him, shocked that he could say anything poetic. He just hadn’t seemed the type. “I write poetry every once in a while too,” He offered, looking timid. It made him look like a cute little boy admitting something to someone he trusted. I snuggled into him. “If we’re going to school, we’d better get going.” He said. He led me downstairs and started making omlets. He gave me an omlet and ate his. Once I’d finished eating it I got up and washed my dishes. I went upstairs and hid in my bedroom. I started painting again and this time it was a content image that came to the paper. It was a girl and I began painting on the tattoos that covered my body; I painted them swirling around her. I started with the outlines and slowly brought the color and detail inward, creating a swirl of these beautiful symbols showing her power. She had the elements swirling around her as well and she lifted her eyes and hands in wonder and joy. I created her expression to look amazed and wondering and unknowing and just alive in every way. I had the bottom of the painting raining and looking like every hurt in the world was there and on the top all the happiness of the world. There was a tree in the background that reflected on the bottom looking dead. This was my image. This was my love and life. Twisted with hurt and happiness and making a drastic change in between. When I was done painting it I saw Sam standing behind me, staring in wonder. I put my brush down and he held me. I could feel his amazement and his love for me brimming over in his mind and he kissed me. We walked to school and it was about lunch time. We stopped at McDonalds and got lunch and then we went to school. We showed up at school and when Isaiah and Rya and Qwen and Jenny saw us they all questioned us at once. “Isaiah, you obviously need more clothes by now, so we’re all going back to our house after school.” I said confidently, not leaving room for discussion or argument. I had art today but I’d already done my amazing work for the day. My art teacher thought I was above average but I’d never put much effort into it with her. “Okay guys, I wanna see your very best artwork. I want some of this to be famous!” She said with way to much enthusiasm. I raised my hand. She called on me. “I’ll do good if you stop with the seriously freakish optimism.” I said and half the class murmured assent. Her jaw dropped. I’d never said anything disrespectful to her in class. “Fine. I can be just as mean as I can be peppy.” She said and glared at us. A couple of kids took back their assent. She told us to do good or our grade would seriously suffer. She showed us where the paper was and told us to get to work. It was all our choice of what to do. I grabbed some paints and got a piece of canvas paper. I set it up and started painting my soul. I started with a broken wolf, broken up in puzzle pieces and being put back together with a pink hand. The wolf had all of my tattoos on it and I put my whole heart into it. I made the same sash that I wore in the spirit world. I made the trees of the village in the background. I made rolling hills and swirls of air and crashing waves, each down the same path that the wolf was walking. I put a fire beneath the wolf’s paws and the wolf was running toward the water in the distance. The moon was crescent shaped above the wolf’s head in the distance. I painted it in and then as the paint was drying and I stood back and studied it the bell rang to signify class being over. “Alright, give me what you have. Tell me what you’re doing and I’ll grade it so far on the planning.” She said in a harsh voice. I waited till everybody else was gone, putting everything away slowly, and I hadn’t let anybody else see what I’d done. “Hurry up!” She told me. I carried my painting over to her and set it on her desk. Her expression was the best thing I’d seen in years. I took out my phone and got a picture of her face and then one of my painting before she could ruin it. She looked up at me shocked and she couldn’t say anything. I left her room in silence. I found Sam and told him about the art teacher. He asked to see the painting. I showed him the picture on my phone and it just wasn’t a good photo. I led him to the art room and the art teacher was still staring at it. When he saw it he gasped. “Oh, it’s so…amazing July.” He said. “Put your name on it,” She said to me. I signed it and she hung it above her desk. “You could be famous,” She said. I shook my head. “I might sell them for the money but I don’t want fame. I don’t want worshipers and photographers.” I said and walked out with Sam at my side. I went through the rest of the day without a hitch or kink in anything. By the end of the day people were talking about the painting behind the art teachers’ desk and that a student had painted it. They all wanted to know. Jenny asked me and I told her it was mine. “You paint?” She asked me. “That well?” She asked me sarcastically. I took her down to the art room, and though there was a class was in there. I took it down and everybody started overreacting. They told the teacher and she nodded to me. I showed Jenny the name on the back. She just stared at me. I pointed out my sash and the elements to her, not loud enough for anybody else to hear. She just nodded. Some kids started to trickle up for a closer look at it. “I just can’t believe it was you!” Jenny said and about five kids who were coming up from behind us gawked. “You did this?” They asked. I showed them my signature and left the room. “You’re gonna be a legend here,” Jenny said. “And I’ll leave before it gets too far around the school. I’m gonna ask to take that home once I go to the bathroom.” I said. Jenny sighed and nodded. I got my painting and headed for home. Sam was next to me the entire time and Isaiah and Jenny were holding hands and discussing my artwork. Rya and Qwen were behind them discussing if they should send the baby here or to a school they could start up in the village. When we got to the house I put my painting on the counter and snuggled into the couch. Sam sat on the couch and turned on the football game and I rolled my eyes. I put my head on my lap and took a nap. I woke to Sam murmuring my name. “I didn’t know that dolls could carry whales to the ice cream shop and back to the cactus.” He said. I laughed. “Time to eat,” He said. I got up and we got our food and snuggled back up on the couch. I snuggled into him. When we finished eating, I cleaned the plates and put them away. When I was done with that I curled up on Sam’s lap again. He didn’t let me fall asleep this time, he just led me upstairs and helped me get into my pajamas. I was too drowsy to get dressed properly. He gave up after ten minutes of trying to get me dressed. He just told me to get into bed. I crawled into bed and sat there. He crawled into bed and woke me up by kissing me. His touch was magic and I finally woke up. Rya burst into our room and told us to get up. I rolled into Sam and hid my face in his chest. She dumped water on us and we both screamed. “What is your issue?” I yelled at her. “The village is in a panic. They don’t like not having us there so get your but down there.” She said. I grabbed the rest of my clothes and shoved them into another suitcase. I grabbed Sam and spirited us to our hut. I shoved the suitcase away from me and dragged Sam down on the mat with me. He didn’t struggle and I snuggled with him under the blanket. We were warm and cozy and then my mom burst in. “Where have you two been?” She demanded from me. “At home; I didn’t think it was that big a deal.” I said and cringed into him against the cold. “It’s not but you have to tell somebody where you’re going.” She said sympathetically. She left us in peace and I fell back asleep. I woke up again